Stage IV

Today's clouds: Cirrostratus nebulosus or cirrostratus fibratus invading the whole sky

My father has stage IV colon cancer. He was diagnosed in April - we (the children) learned the news on April 1. The news of this cancer was akin to a punch in the stomach. I sobbed and wretched and tried to compose myself enough to be able to go to my fathers side and be a calm supportive daughter and not a sniveling wreck of a person mourning his pending death.

That very day I arrived at the house and many of my siblings were there as well. We sat at the table looking like deer in the headlights unable to talk and make words out of feelings that made us want to puke. I kept checking my mothers' face - she had a fixed surprised look that frightened me. She said very little but the presence of shock was written in her body language. I worry for her.

My father sat in his room playing solitaire on the computer as though all was well and perfectly normal. When he noticed I was there he came out and greeted me. I immediately cried and wanted to kick myself in the shin for doing so, so much for being strong. Suddenly and amazingly my father started to comfort me. Telling me, "don't worry, I'm at peace with this news. We're all going to die sooner or later. I just happen to know it will be my turn, and more than likely this disease may take my life. I'm eighty-two years old, I can't live forever, Lor." His words stopped my crying temporarily. How could I cry when he is being to brave?

My life with dad growing up wasn't easy. It wasn't easy for any of us eight children, but we're a strong family that loves each other under all the dysfunction that marked our lives together. Dad is an intense, passionate man with his own familiar ghost he has had to live with, but he has asked forgiveness and has shown by example how he loves everyone of us unconditionally.

The Things We Do For Love

Today's clouds: Cumulus fractus; Cumulus humilis ('fair weather clouds')

I've been busy trying to manage my youngest daughters education by helping her chose courses that she needs and wants to get into the college she has in mind. She's entering her junior year in high school and it's a big year. She's a gifted student with a fierce work ethic and undying love to learn. Her interest are mainly in the sciences however, she is a well rounded student that not only loves the sciences she loves the arts as well. This year she is taking AP English, AP Calculus, Organic Chemistry and AP Chemistry as well as a history class on the Middle Ages at the local community college. Come Spring semester she will take Physics at the college level as well as take another Harvard course in French as she wasn't able to fit it into her schedule this Fall. Not being able to take French this Fall made her very unhappy as she loves the language and the culture. She has six years of French already and she wants to continue with it through out her college career as well.

Because Olivia is an insatiable learner, this summer she took a course in Shakespeare at Harvard's summer program. They read and studies 15 of the plays. It was well worth the expense as she enjoyed the experience immensely. I noticed she matured and became very self sufficient which was a huge relief for me as a parent. I didn't know how she would fare on her own and had some adjustment problems that kept me anxious and unfocused for four weeks. I'm OK now but at the time I was a wreck. I had some very strange fears that I dare not mention for I'm afraid most people would think that I needed medication to be able to function half normally.

Anyway, the last week she was at the Harvard program I got a call from the local news paper here in my town. The reported heard (through a politician friend) that Olivia was doing some great things and they wanted to interview her. In fact the premise was that citizens are tired of hearing about the bad things young people are doing and want to hear the great things that they are doing - which I agree with. There is this intense focus on juvenile violence, teen pregnancy and drugs use that overshadows the creative and vibrant energy of young people. I know there are millions of great stories out there and I'm proud that my daughter is one of them. It is the greatest source of my pleasure.

I know all this sounds like bragging but I can't help but gush. Please forgive me if it appears to be so I'm filled with gratitude.

I posted her 30 + word recitation of King Richard video that was taken by the reporter. The link to the article is below. There are a few technical errors in the article - thanks to Olivia's keen eye.

http://www.heraldnews.com/news/x1543321128/Young-scholar-studies-up-on-Shakespeare