Monday, October 6, 2008

Moving Out

clouds: Cirrostratus not progressively invading the sky.

My eldest daughter is moving out of the house. I'm very proud of her and at the same time I'm nervous for her. I know this is a huge decision for her and I'm happy she has made a decision because she can be so indecisive that she will not make any decisions at all. I told her indecisiveness is a mental illness! We laughed at this but I think indecisiveness can be debilitating. I know because I suffer from it.

I am rooting for my daughters success so I've got to show her my game face because I know she uses me as a gauged of sorts. Don't we all want approval from our parents? But truth be told - I worry.

On the flip side of my optimism I worry. I worry because she hasn't sat down and done the math needed to figure out her expenses. You see, she doesn't save money and because we're hear to learn this will be a life lesson for her and one worth learning. I've asked her how much money she's made in the last year and she said she didn't know! My stomach sank, how can she not know?! She's a full time student who waits tables so keeping track of her tips isn't a priority for her. I think she thinks the tip money is play money and her
minimum wage check is her bank account money because she has never been able to save anything substantial. Money in her hands is dangerous - like sand through a sieve. This is what's so disturbing to me. I wish I could sit her down with Suzy Orman and learn how to budget her money but her organization skills need fine tuning as well.

Last week I sat down by myself and figured out her basic expenses. Her portion of the rent is three-hundred dollars a month and it's a real good price but she has to make a minimum of a thousand dollars a month to pay her rent, pay her portion of utilities, pay her phone, car insurance, gas and food and to have a
little money left over to do whatever and that's if she budgets. I then sat down with her and showed her the math and asked her if this was something she can do. She told me she can do it and stressed that she knew it would be a challenge for her to make the needed changes but she is willing to work hard for it. I also told her that if this didn't work out that coming home is an option that she shouldn't feel ashamed of. For that matter more than half her friends have had to move home at one time or other.

I'm hopeful but I know times are much harder now than they were for me. My first apartment was $90.00 a month not including utilities. Utilities were fairly inexpensive. I think my phone was under $25.00 a month and I could afford cable with HBO! Boy, times have changed. Wow, did I just say that (boy, times have changed) I sound like my mother.

2 comments:

Zom said...

I was so poor when I left home that I had to walk 2 miles to work every day. I couldn't afford the bus.

It was okay. I was young and being on my own was worth it.

Alex the Girl said...

You seem to be taking this leave well. Congratulations to that! I'm "girding my loins" in preperation and my eldest still has a year of high school left.