It's Been A Long Time

altostratus opacus, or Nimostratus, thickened, rainy form - blocking the sun or moon
Picture taken in Westport MA on a very dreary afternoon at 3 pm - it felt very lonely and somewhat spooky although very beautiful.

This post is dated December. I started this post in December and abandoned it - it's now May 23, 2009
It's been a long time since I've written anything here. So much has happened! I'm working but I'm not fully employed as in holidays and health benefits, but I'll be employed until June and this job will have to do for now. To be exact I'm working 180 days this year.

I'm currently working as a substitute teacher in a classroom for emotionally disturbed kindergartners. I'm actually working as an assistant to the teacher in the room. She hasn't had any luck with assistants because it's really tough work. It seems that no one wants to restrain children who are violent - it's too depressing and very difficult and challenging emotionally, but the strange thing is I'm actually enjoying the work. Of course there are days when I can't wait until I get these kids on the bus to be carted off to their parents, but there are days when when I actually feel real good and think we've made progress and maybe I smiled a few times and had a few laughs during the day.

I'm rather happy about my placement at the moment because I've been very helpful to the teacher and the children. They were having a lot of difficulty keeping assistants and three left voluntarily because its physically taxing and emotionally draining. Not that I'm a miracle worker (I'm as flawed as the next person) I had my doubts and moments when I wanted out as well. In fact I had told the teacher that I may have made a mistake taking the position without serious thought, but that I had made a commitment and needed this job so I was going to see it through to the end of the year.

I was regretting my decision whole heatedly, but I prayed for something to change in me and it happened. I don't know if I can explain what happened but here goes. I need this job because without it there was little money coming in and my husband had recently lost his good paying job. I was stuck with this placement and didn't want to continue having anxiety every morning wondering about what would happen in the classroom each day. I wasn't enjoying the work and while I went to work each day I also prayed for grace. You see, I was having difficulty liking the children because of their behavior and I was having difficulty forming a healthy attachment to them. I'm not the type of person that would show a child my dislike for them but I admit I was having great difficulty even showing a smile. I was going through the motions and being very professional but it felt disingenuous so I began my prayers.

I don't know when it happened but one day I woke up and didn't feel anxious about facing my day with the children. It felt great not to fake it - to look into the eyes of a disturbed child and have a warm heart. Oh what relief - what a blessing. It's May and I'm still there and the kids are showing improvements. We have fun together when appropriate and they are learning how to behave and interact like kindergarten and 1st graders should. I didn't have much hope for them and believe me when I say they have their moments when we think there is no hope for them but now I feel as though I should foster hope in them and others because without hope there is despair. I think we're going to make it.

Moving Out

clouds: Cirrostratus not progressively invading the sky.

My eldest daughter is moving out of the house. I'm very proud of her and at the same time I'm nervous for her. I know this is a huge decision for her and I'm happy she has made a decision because she can be so indecisive that she will not make any decisions at all. I told her indecisiveness is a mental illness! We laughed at this but I think indecisiveness can be debilitating. I know because I suffer from it.

I am rooting for my daughters success so I've got to show her my game face because I know she uses me as a gauged of sorts. Don't we all want approval from our parents? But truth be told - I worry.

On the flip side of my optimism I worry. I worry because she hasn't sat down and done the math needed to figure out her expenses. You see, she doesn't save money and because we're hear to learn this will be a life lesson for her and one worth learning. I've asked her how much money she's made in the last year and she said she didn't know! My stomach sank, how can she not know?! She's a full time student who waits tables so keeping track of her tips isn't a priority for her. I think she thinks the tip money is play money and her minimum wage check is her bank account money because she has never been able to save anything substantial. Money in her hands is dangerous - like sand through a sieve. This is what's so disturbing to me. I wish I could sit her down with Suzy Orman and learn how to budget her money but her organization skills need fine tuning as well.

Last week I sat down by myself and figured out her basic expenses. Her portion of the rent is three-hundred dollars a month and it's a real good price but she has to make a minimum of a thousand dollars a month to pay her rent, pay her portion of utilities, pay her phone, car insurance, gas and food and to have a little money left over to do whatever and that's if she budgets. I then sat down with her and showed her the math and asked her if this was something she can do. She told me she can do it and stressed that she knew it would be a challenge for her to make the needed changes but she is willing to work hard for it. I also told her that if this didn't work out that coming home is an option that she shouldn't feel ashamed of. For that matter more than half her friends have had to move home at one time or other.

I'm hopeful but I know times are much harder now than they were for me. My first apartment was $90.00 a month not including utilities. Utilities were fairly inexpensive. I think my phone was under $25.00 a month and I could afford cable with HBO! Boy, times have changed. Wow, did I just say that (boy, times have changed) I sound like my mother.

Election, Twitter, Oh yeah, and Leagally Blond

clouds: altostratus opacus, or nimbostratus (gloomy, and pouring rain)

Election

The elections is heating up and frankly, it's exciting me. I am astounded at the maneuvers John McCain has made in the last 42 hours. I'm convinced he thinks his political shenanigan's of the last couple of days will help him look like a hero. The truth is it makes him look desperate. To make things worst for McCain Sarah Palin's interview with Katie Couric the other day has made her look like South Carolina's Miss Teen U.S.A.

Here's the actual transcript of her conversation with Katie Couric. Beware, the cringe factor is a 10 out of 10.

COURIC: You've cited Alaska's proximity to Russia as part of your foreign policy experience. What did you mean by that?

PALIN: That Alaska has a very narrow maritime border between a foreign country, Russia, and on our other side, the land-- boundary that we have with-- Canada. It-- it's funny that a comment like that was-- kind of made to-- cari-- I don't know, you know? Reporters--

COURIC: Mock?

PALIN: Yeah, mocked, I guess that's the word, yeah.

COURIC: Explain to me why that enhances your foreign policy credentials.

PALIN: Well, it certainly does because our-- our next door neighbors are foreign countries. They're in the state that I am the executive of. And there in Russia--

COURIC: Have you ever been involved with any negotiations, for example, with the Russians?

PALIN: We have trade missions back and forth. We-- we do-- it's very important when you consider even national security issues with Russia as Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where-- where do they go? It's Alaska. It's just right over the border. It is-- from Alaska that we send those out to make sure that an eye is being kept on this very powerful nation, Russia, because they are right there. They are right next to-- to our state.

ME: OH, MY GOD!

See it for yourself here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gk8moOxzlGQ

Twitter

Ok, twitter is fun , but it takes commitment to make it worth-your-while. I've spent a good part of the day on twitter because they have a huge Election 2008 live stream going on. Tons of people voicing opinions on anything from candidates (Sarah Palin a hot one), Wall St. (hot), Miss Teen U.S.A. (hahaha), Bush, Washington, David Letterman and of course tonights presidential debate that John McCain "will be" attending. All I can say is fun, fun, fun chatting and posting articles and news blips.

Legally Blond

Last nights production of Legally Blond at the Providence Performing Arts Center was hysterical. I did have my doubts about converting a pretty good movie into a Broadway musical but it works and works well. All the performers were top notch singers and dancers with damn good looking bodies, especially the UPS delivery guy, "Bend and Snap it baby!". Well worth seeing. Loved it!

Twitter, Twitter, Twitter

Today's clouds:Today's clouds: Cumulus fractus; cumulus humilis (fair weather clouds)


I've been sick for a couple of days. Some sort of intestinal virus - something I usually don't get, ever.
It's given me an excuse to do lots and lots of nothing like post on twitter all morning. I couldn't log into my stumbleupon account for some strange reason, so I went to twitter. I had to file a complaint with stumble because I think I'm locked out. Arrgh! I hope they solve the problem. What are my postings about you ask?
Go find out.

http://twitter.com/lorrierks - you can click this link in my "distractions column".

Found a new distraction! Woo Hoo!

Ma Mere

Today's clouds:Today's clouds: Cumulus fractus; cumulus humilis (fair weather clouds)

I'm not going to write about my thoughts on the economy anymore. It's too huge and confusing and it's making me very ill. I have "great depression" images stuck in my head and it's just adding to my current state anxiety about being unemployed.

Speaking of the Great Depression reminds me of my maternal grandmother (ma mere as we called her, and yes, I know "ma mere" means "my mother" but that's what we called her). When she was young woman during the Great Depression people were very frugal and never threw away useful things. It was a completely different culture when one compares it to the consumer culture of today. There was very little trash that got thrown away. Many things had a second and third life, and every penny was saved.

When I was a little girl she still clung to the depression era values. She recycled and saved everything because, "You just don't know when you might need it" she would say . I loved looking through her pantry, it was a menagerie of jars, paper, buttons, balls of string and elastics and other odd findings that she stashed away. Included in her stash were styrofoam meat trays which, to me, didn't have any good use but she saved them anyway. Oh, back in the 60' and 70's we didn't eat a lot of meat. Meat was used like a condement; it was added to food as flavoring as in soups and stews. Meat was also "stretched" as it were in order to feed my mothers hungry brood of Catholic children. Meatloaf and organ meats were the order of the day. I don't think I saw a steak until I was 15. There were too many mouths to feed. Meat was expensive back then and we were lucky to have meat three times a week.

Anyway, those styrofoam trays didn't seem useful at first but she would wash them and save them anyway. I had a bit of my grandmother in me because I loved collecting items. I collected found objects and she even encouraged me. She suggested that I should use those trays to sort my little treasures. I know they were useless items but I hoarded shells, skelletal crabs, crab claws, starfish, pebbles of different colors, dried-out seaweed and beach glass. I loved the beach and nature and I collected everything and anything I thought was pretty and interesting. I used those trays my grandmother saved to sort and save my found objects. I kept them all lined up on Pepere's dresser in the room he no longer slept in (he died in 1968 at age 68).

I made dioramas with my pretty items and styrofoam trays - and I was really pleased by the look of my product. I loved them! Back then the meat trays were white and foamy feeling and for some reason took well to paint and glue. I would go upstairs to ma mere's apartment and sit alone at the table and create my little worlds of sand and shell. As I got older I would embroider with ma mere - I made her a couple of pillows with burlap, embroidery and applique she proudly displayed them on her sofa. (the burlap was from a sack of potatoes)

I have very fond memories of doing this. I have seven other siblings and the household could and would become chaotic at times and I had difficulty with the noise so I would go upstairs and quietly sit with ma mere and have one-on-one time with her. She was so proud of my work - it made me happy - she would then display it on the mantel and tell me what she liked the most about them. Any special belonging we had we would bring it up stairs to her to take care of. Her house was like a museum - it hadn't changed since the late 30's - her place was quite remarkable and I have very fond memories of being with her.

Ma mere, Alberta (Perron) Forand, died in 1977 at 79 years of age. I miss her still.

Shambles

Today's Clouds: altocumulus stratiformis progressively invading the entire sky. Dark, dreary and damp.

700 billion and no strings attached!

Balancing my checkbook and sticking to a budget is time consuming and challenging especially when one is unemployed. But thinking about the state of America’s financial debacle is mind-boggling and makes me want to puke.

I can’t get my head around 700 billion never mind the trillions of dollars of debt we have incurred. It is staggering and we will undoubtedly feel the effects of this for years to come. This has to be the official beginning of our decline as the world’s financial power. We know that each and every American woman, man and child is in debt of upwards of $20,000 each, and now add that to your personal debt. It's sickening.

There are many things I would like to see done with tax dollars and this isn’t one of them. For one thing, why not help out foreclosed homeowners? What about trickling up some of that revenue? That would help people remain in their homes AND the banks get their money. What about that? I know it’s wishful thinking and I’m sure there are critics out there that would call this a “socialist” idea but what the hell. Isn't bailing out Wall St. socialism of a different kind; help business but not help people. It's that “trickle down” theory (wealth is produced from the top down) that has persevered since Reagan and that HAS NOT worked for the middle class or working people only the top 1% of wealth in the country.

For a decade American corporations have been abandoning American workers for cheap labor and huge tax breaks to leave the country and produce goods overseas. In turn, American’s are encouraged to spend their hard earned money “shopping” for cheap goods in order to keep our “consumer” based economy running. Remember after September 11^th - the president encouraged us all to “go shopping”. How ridiculous! American’s haven’t been saving money they’ve been max-ing out their credit cards and watching their interest rates rise as it becomes more difficult to pay off their debt. The credit card companies are laughing all the way to the bank because they’ve got the law makers in their pockets changing the laws that protect consumers and making millions of dollars bilking Americans in the form of interest rates and late fees.

And speaking of the credit card...

Secret History of the Credit Card

Everyone must see this! It will open your eyes to how credit cards really work. You’ll think twice about using your credit card after you see it.

“In "Secret History of the Credit Card," Frontline and The New York Times join forces to investigate an industry few Americans fully understand. In this one-hour report, correspondent Lowell Bergman uncovers the techniques used by the industry to earn record profits and get consumers to take on more debt.”

You can watch the full version of the compelling documentary online by following this link.

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/credit/view/

Sigur Ros Thursday 9/18/2008

Today's clouds: Cumulus fractus; cumulus humilis (fair weather clouds)

The drive up was OK! The concert, brilliant and the visit with friends wonderful and delicious. However the drive home took 5 1/2 hours - it's a 4 hour drive.

I googled "Sigur Ros" and I was able to find recordings of both nights at the Palace theater. Joy of joys!
If you happened to miss both nights of Sigur Rós' shows at the United Palace Theatre don't worry nyctaper has got you covered. Nyctaper made recordings of both shows in .flac format for you audiophiles and .mp3 for those who prefer smaller files. You can download the Wednesday's show here and Thursday's show here. You can download a Sigur Rós track below.

The opening band was "Parachutes" which is the band of Jónsi’s boyfriend. I loved their music - they were ethereal, joyful, with a mature type of innocence (mature innocence is an oxymoron I know, but I know no other word to describe them) that made me love them right off.
It was clear that they're influenced by Sigur Ros's music with whimsical vibes and long reflective pauses but with their own unique flavor but sung entirely in English.

Oh Joy

I may have a job by next week! More to come.

Road Trip

Today's Clouds: altocumulus stratiformis progressively invading the entire sky.

I've been badgered by Olivia to buy tickets to see Sigur Ros who'll be appearing at the United Palace Theater in New York City this coming Thursday. She's been asking since the end of July and I've stalled on a decision for weeks until Monday. I thought Lou would be coming with me but he's not because of work. I've asked my friend Dede to come but she can't. So,I have been freaking out about driving alone for nearly four hours with a sixteen year old girl and wondering what I'm going to do about the drive home in the dark.

I know I have some irrational fears and they are, for the most part, unwarranted, but they are "fears" people - thoughts that I perseverate on that make me so uncomfortable that I can't even talk about them let alone post them here for fear of cursing myself. With all this said I've come up with a great solution. I'm going to visit some friends of mine in Queens after the concert. How perfect is that? I haven't seen them in well over a year and its time we've caught up on our lives. I'm relived and so much more happier now that I've figured a way to do this with out completely exhausting myself both physically and most importantly mentally. And there's a huge benefit. Catching up with old friends.

It's The Economy Stupid

Today's clouds: Cumulus fractus; Cumulus humilis ('fair weather clouds')

Today's economic news has been sickening. I'm unemployed because of a lay off and I lost my health care. It's hard to stay positive but with headlines like these how is one suppose to feel? What will happen to the average persons retirement funds? What will happen to mine?
When the housing market was booming I thought it outrageous that working people were purchasing homes at over $300,000. At the end of WW II American families were able to buy a house and a car and live the "American Dream". But those people, by today's standards, buying a home is barely obtainable and now may be unreachable if the economy continues to decline. How dare those deniers say the economy is strong! I'm sick of Wall St. greed! I''m starting to feel screwed.

Stocks get pummeled

Wall Street sees worst day in 7 years, with Dow down 504 points, as financials implode.

Lehman Bros files for bankruptcy

Lehman Brothers, the fourth-largest US investment bank, has filed for bankruptcy protection, dealing a blow to the fragile global financial system

If The Shoe Was On The Other Foot

Today's clouds: Altostratus opacus, or Nimbostratus

Think about this,
What would happen if Barack Obama:

Had a pregnant teenage daughter
Lied about accepting hundreds of millions of dollars in earmarks from Washington
Had a wife who belonged to a secessionist party
Was under two investigations for ethics and abuse of power charges
Thought that shooting wolves from low flying airplanes was good sport.
Said that we could never “second guess” an ally that attacked another country
Had a wife who was under subpoena
Did not know what the Bush Doctrine was
Had only left the country once
Said that Fannie Mae and Freddy Mac were taxpayer supported
Said that energy was key to Foreign Policy
Referred to himself as “pit bull” and a “barracuda”

????

Come on people! You know what would happen.

Break Through

Today's clouds: Altostratus opacus, or Nimbostratus

Praise the gods! The sweet boy has been up and eating and taking sips of water. I didn't mention how afraid I was for Gustav. I was in bit of a panic because he wasn't moving or opening his eyes unless I handled him. He still isn't 100% but I will take 40% over the way he looked the other day.

Update 9 /16 : Gus is almost 100%! He's close to his ole' kitty self. He's grooming, purring, eating and drinking regularly. He's run outside a few times and found his way back in again.

Mabeline, You Are A Beauty Queen

Today's clouds: Cumulus fractus; Cumulus humilis ('fair weather clouds')

"Yes, I am beautiful," she said to herself as she gazed into the mirror. The bow enhances the blue in my eyes and my long whiskers. I must tell Francoise to make a dozen more in shades of pink and blue. I think I should have some studded with Swarovski crystal sequins too! purrrrrrrr.... I love me!

Look over at my slideshow to see the real Mabeline. She is a beauty queen and the best cat in the whole wide world. I couldn't resist this poster when I saw it. It really does look like her.

Wasted

Today's clouds: Cumulus fractus; Cumulus humilis ('fair weather clouds')

I've spent my entire morning responding to political blogs on Blogher. Anyway, it all began so innocently. I dropped off my daughter at school at 7:30 - came home - made coffee and checked my email and one thing led to another. I accidentally stumbled upon the Blogher site and that was the end of my morning. I spent hours reading and responding to blogs about Sarah Palin. The whole thing is mind numbing.
I'm feeling incredibly guilty for skanking around in my pajamas for hours drinking coffee, typing and screaming out loud at people I don't know or care about. I could have sworn I was only doing this for maybe an hour - an hour and a half at most. It was like an out of body experience because the next thing I noticed it was 12:30 and my coffee is ice cold and I'VE GOT TO GET UP and do something productive. OK, OK, I'll make up for it. Here's my to do list or,
things I've should have done
laundry
dishes
litter box
vacuum
wash floors
make food for family

Oh Bliss! Yeah, this is satisfying.

Note to self: Remember, you're a multitask er. Don't sit at computer for hours upon hours talking shit about lame political leaders. Instead, turn on talk radio show (preferably left wing talk radio show) and get housework done whilst listening to others talk shit about lame political leaders.

Stage IV

Today's clouds: Cirrostratus nebulosus or cirrostratus fibratus invading the whole sky

My father has stage IV colon cancer. He was diagnosed in April - we (the children) learned the news on April 1. The news of this cancer was akin to a punch in the stomach. I sobbed and wretched and tried to compose myself enough to be able to go to my fathers side and be a calm supportive daughter and not a sniveling wreck of a person mourning his pending death.

That very day I arrived at the house and many of my siblings were there as well. We sat at the table looking like deer in the headlights unable to talk and make words out of feelings that made us want to puke. I kept checking my mothers' face - she had a fixed surprised look that frightened me. She said very little but the presence of shock was written in her body language. I worry for her.

My father sat in his room playing solitaire on the computer as though all was well and perfectly normal. When he noticed I was there he came out and greeted me. I immediately cried and wanted to kick myself in the shin for doing so, so much for being strong. Suddenly and amazingly my father started to comfort me. Telling me, "don't worry, I'm at peace with this news. We're all going to die sooner or later. I just happen to know it will be my turn, and more than likely this disease may take my life. I'm eighty-two years old, I can't live forever, Lor." His words stopped my crying temporarily. How could I cry when he is being to brave?

My life with dad growing up wasn't easy. It wasn't easy for any of us eight children, but we're a strong family that loves each other under all the dysfunction that marked our lives together. Dad is an intense, passionate man with his own familiar ghost he has had to live with, but he has asked forgiveness and has shown by example how he loves everyone of us unconditionally.

Focus

What is my focus here? I've been checking out blogs for the past 2 years and have always loved the idea of writing and keeping a journal. However, I'm one of those people who is afraid to make a mark. I love to make sketches and doodles but I have a hard time making that first mark on the paper, and I'm afraid I'm experiencing the same problem here.

I thought that I might want a one theme or just one focused area to write about but it won't happen. I'm too scattered a person to be so focused on one subject. So I've decided it will be anything and everything that moves me. Pictures, words, video clips - things that inspire me, anger me, make me laugh, make me sad, make me remember things here in my small life in my small town. Here goes nothing!

clouds

Clouds are beautiful.

Sarah Palin (god help us!)

Today's clouds: Cumulus fractus; Cumulus humilis ('fair weather clouds') look out a storm is coming!

I watched the Republican National Convention last week as I had watched the Democratic National Convention. I made myself watch the Republican's party every day it aired and as I watched I cringed and squirmed as I listened to every word that came out of every speakers mouth. It was also blatantly obvious that the Republicans didn't speak of or even mention some critical issues like unemployment (all time high this August 6.1% national average) disappearing jobs going overseas, healthcare, education, declining wages, the environment and alternative energy sources. What became clear to me very early on was that the old "culture war" is on. Leave it to the Repubs to pull out all their dirty tricks. Divide and conquer is their old stand by and it might just work again.
Instead of being on message ( Repub issues) every speaker seemed to be more interested in bashing Obama and the Democrates. So clearly, I was interested, as was most of the country, in hearing what the Republican Vice-Presidential candidate Sarah Palin had to say on her behalf.

When John McCain announced his choice for Vice President I totally thought he was pandering to the women's' vote - I still think it so. I watched as he introduced her and instantly thought, who is she and where does she come from? Quite frankly, my first thought was, he's making a big mistake. Not that I care he makes mistakes, I want this to be a mistake. I know McCain is a fiscal conservative and not a social conservative and this will no doubt alienate moderate Republicans. Not only is he pandering to women he's pandering to the Christian Right voters and apparently Palin is pandering to parents with children with special needs as well. Shameless. I thought McCain would be the man to change the Republican party and not keep the status-quo. Yes, I was hoping for a fair fight from McCain but it's not going to happen. I'm all for change that will shake things up in a positive way - I see this move of McCain's as being more of the same and Obama as the true candidate for change in this country.

Getting back to Palin's speech I was appalled at her attack dog status and her empty vindictive words. She demonstrated to me that she is a religious conservative who backs big oil and someone who doesn't take climate change seriously (apparently she doesn't believe it's a man made crisis). There is also this little tidbit that came out as well and that is George Bush's speech writers wrote half of her speech which leads my suspicious mind to think that the current administration (Carl Rove) probably had a hand in picking this woman. Can you think of two big oil proponents in the White House? George W. and Dick Cheney. Disturbing. :::shiver:::

The whole scene was too surreal. Pretty lady (Phyllis Schlafly like lady) governor with five children (one pregnant 17 year old daughter, and a downs syndrome baby what a picture of regular American folks) barking it up for the right wing culture war. I think this is how the Republicans really like to talk. Rather than talk about real issues that affect real people they use scare tactics to frighten voters into thinking the Democrats will be raising taxes and spending all their hard earned money on "pork". If jilted Hillary supporters vote for McCain because his running mate has a vagina then they should stop calling themselves feminist.

One more item that disturbed me was Palin's attack on Obama's credentials as a community organizer and senator. Comparing herself - mayor of Whosville to Obama's community organizing was stupefying. What about his credentials as a very educated, intelligent person - graduated Harvard, made history at Harvard by becoming the first African American to head the prestigious Harvard Law Review. And finally a candidate who is very in touch with what everyday Americans need in these hard economic times.

I'll give Palin one thing, she's got balls and she's got a bite but does that make her vice presidential material? I don't think so, especially since she didn't have a clue to what a vice president did a few weeks ago.

"The object of the superior man is truth"

The Things We Do For Love

Today's clouds: Cumulus fractus; Cumulus humilis ('fair weather clouds')

I've been busy trying to manage my youngest daughters education by helping her chose courses that she needs and wants to get into the college she has in mind. She's entering her junior year in high school and it's a big year. She's a gifted student with a fierce work ethic and undying love to learn. Her interest are mainly in the sciences however, she is a well rounded student that not only loves the sciences she loves the arts as well. This year she is taking AP English, AP Calculus, Organic Chemistry and AP Chemistry as well as a history class on the Middle Ages at the local community college. Come Spring semester she will take Physics at the college level as well as take another Harvard course in French as she wasn't able to fit it into her schedule this Fall. Not being able to take French this Fall made her very unhappy as she loves the language and the culture. She has six years of French already and she wants to continue with it through out her college career as well.

Because Olivia is an insatiable learner, this summer she took a course in Shakespeare at Harvard's summer program. They read and studies 15 of the plays. It was well worth the expense as she enjoyed the experience immensely. I noticed she matured and became very self sufficient which was a huge relief for me as a parent. I didn't know how she would fare on her own and had some adjustment problems that kept me anxious and unfocused for four weeks. I'm OK now but at the time I was a wreck. I had some very strange fears that I dare not mention for I'm afraid most people would think that I needed medication to be able to function half normally.

Anyway, the last week she was at the Harvard program I got a call from the local news paper here in my town. The reported heard (through a politician friend) that Olivia was doing some great things and they wanted to interview her. In fact the premise was that citizens are tired of hearing about the bad things young people are doing and want to hear the great things that they are doing - which I agree with. There is this intense focus on juvenile violence, teen pregnancy and drugs use that overshadows the creative and vibrant energy of young people. I know there are millions of great stories out there and I'm proud that my daughter is one of them. It is the greatest source of my pleasure.

I know all this sounds like bragging but I can't help but gush. Please forgive me if it appears to be so I'm filled with gratitude.

I posted her 30 + word recitation of King Richard video that was taken by the reporter. The link to the article is below. There are a few technical errors in the article - thanks to Olivia's keen eye.

http://www.heraldnews.com/news/x1543321128/Young-scholar-studies-up-on-Shakespeare

coneflower

Will I Follow Through

Will I follow through with this blog? I don't know but I do know I want to. I want to write but I can't follow through on the things I want and need to do. Why? I'm not sure. However, I do suspect I have adult ADD and probably will do well on some type of medication. I should actually look into it because I have a thesis and a prior-life assessment to finish in order to get my BA. What can I lose by checking this out - nothing - I can only gain my confidence and my BA. What am I waiting for? Shit, girl log off and go make an appointment.